Light Out of the Darkness
by amrice101
Summary: Kendall's been suicidal for quite some time now, and when he's left all alone with the voices, will they finally get to him, or will his Prince Charming save the day?


**Hi peoples! I wanted to post this the day after Kames day (because I just found out about it then [it was 4/25] but I fell asleep while typing it sooooo now, I'm finally posting it! HAPPY LATE KAMES DAY! (: **

**Disclaimer!; I own nothing in this, just….nothing, at all :p**

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Kendall Knight walks into his empty house, the silence making him fall deeper into 'the black', a phrase for whenever the voices came back. The blonde is trying his hardest to ignore what the voices were saying and he was trying all day and when they had disappeared for a few hours, he thought they were gone for the day.

Sadly, he is wrong.

He was hoping that the craziness that is his mom and Katie was going to distract him from it all. Unfortunately, all there is for company are him, himself and the eerie silence that the voices always took advantage of.

While he walks down the never-ending hallway that leads to his bedroom, the vicious voices continue their onslaught on his already low self-esteem, taking away any pride that he may or may not have for himself. The worst part of it all is that he didn't care anymore. He just accepts them and doesn't try to deny what they are saying. Everything the voices say was always such, ugly, terrible things, and he can't help but think they are true.

He tries to escape his own personal problems by attempting to help other but he isn't even good at that.

His boyfriend of two years is only with him for sympathy.

All of his friends pity him and force themselves to talk to him so they won't feel guilty when they don't.

His mother only kept him because she knew that no one would have wanted such an ugly baby at the time.

Kendall sighs and furiously rubs off the tears he didn't know were on his cheeks. Besides, they are completely unnecessary. He shouldn't be crying about his harsh reality, but what else is he supposed to do? Maybe . . . if he can't handle the cruel world he lives in, that he should just abandon it all? Well, this isn't the first time suicide has crossed his mind. Every time he wants to try and end it all, there is always someone in his way. It would be either James, Katie, his mom, Logan, or Carlos in the past. But now . . . when he thinks about it, there isn't anyone stopping him now.

_Finally, _he thought, _no more distractions . . . this_ _can finally come to an end. _Kendall has everything already planned, figuring he has been wanting to do this for a while now. Under his mattress, is a .34 caliber pistol, loaded and ready for someone to pull the trigger.

The wait is now over.

When the blonde walks into his room, he takes his charged i-Pod off his dresser, turns it on, and puts on a particular song he had just for this day. When the drums and bass start, he sits at the foot of his bed and takes the gun out of its hiding place.

With the pistol pressing against his left temple and the dark music stirring his brain, he starts to silently thank all the people who have tried to help him and says sorry for what he's about to do next.

When his index finger is slowly going to the trigger, the only images that are flashing in his head are all the times he has spent with the love of his life. The times James comforted him at his lowest of lows; all the smiles, embraces, kisses and intimate moments they shared are also included in the little slideshow; slow, romantic music playing in the backdrop instead of the loud heavy metal. The longer the flashbacks play, the harder it gets for Kendall to keep the gun in its place.

He becomes so enthralled in the mini movie going on in his mind still, that he doesn't notice how hard he is sobbing; his chest rising and falling dramatically, all because his lungs desperately trying to find oxygen. The realization of what he is going to do is starting to hit him, and it's hitting hard: he was going to kill himself and he would never see James or anyone again. He just can't leave James without a proper good-bye . . . he just can't. He throws the gun across the room and brings his knees to his chest and lets his tears flow freely from his jade eyes.

"Hey Kendall, what was that-** Kendall**!"

At first, Kendall thinks it's just the voices playing a sick joke on him but when he feels a familiar pair of strong arms wrap around his fragile frame that aren't fake, he knows that James is there for real.

Kendall un-wraps his arms from himself and brings them to go around James, bringing himself as close to the pretty boy as he possibly can, knowing that this may be the last time he'll ever get to be this close to James again. His crocodile tears leave little puddles on his boyfriend's lucky V-neck, but his mind melts as he breathes in the oddly addicting Cuda man-spray and he loses himself in everything that is James; his perfect, angelic voice that is whispering sweet-nothings in his ear and his soft touch that is rubbing soothing circle in the small of his back, while his other hand caresses his blonde tresses, trying to make him relax.

After a few minutes of Kendall's breathing slowly returning to normal, James decides his blonde boyfriend is calm enough to at least try to explain what's wrong. "Kendall, baby, what's wrong?" The blonde starts to shake his head like a bobble head against James' chest, not ready to tell him the truth.

"Please tell me, I won't get mad, I promise." James can hear Kendall mumbling, and hiding his deeper in the brunette's chest. James brings a finger under his boyfriend's chin and raises his head so they lock eyes for the first time since James arrived.

"What did you say, Kendy?" Kendall never knew James' voice could get so soft and it made it even harder for the blonde to repeat what he just said.

"L-Let me die James . . . just g-go." He can't stop his voice from cracking at the end of the sentence, because as he says that, he see how quick James' appearance changed; his eyes became duller, his face lost all color and his entire body stiffened. James raises his shaking hands to cup the blonde's face, bringing it closer to his so he can look Kendall directly in the eyes. Even with tears clouding his boyfriend's eyes, James still gets lost in the greens and yellows that mix together perfectly.

"I will never let you die, Kendall. You don't understand how much I care about you. I've been in love with you for the longest time and I wouldn't want to have it any other way. If you died Kendall, I would have to, too. We're soul mates; where ever you go, I have to go to. I'm always here for you Kendy and I will always be, no matter what obstacles we come across; as long as we have each other . . . I know we can make it. I love you Kendall and I'm not giving up on you, not now or ever." James promises, his voice firm from the beginning to the end.

Kendall takes his hands from around James' middle and wraps them around the brunette's neck, kisses him softly and whispers, "You promise?" James leans in and locks their lips once again, the slow and sweet mesh of lips being the reassurance Kendall needed all along.


End file.
